These past few weeks have been very hard for me, among the most difficult I've ever had to struggle through. My beautiful, loving, life-affirming mother passed away unexpectedly at the end of March.
Back in 2009, I made a decision to move halfway around the world. I always knew that if something like this happened while I was away, I would be devastated. But knowing something will be difficult doesn't prepare you for the pain when it actually materializes.
I don't have many words to say, but I'd just like to post the short eulogy I delivered at a memorial service we held on April 2, about the mom I will always remember. And I want to say thank you for all the love, prayers and messages of support. They have given me, my sister Danielle and my dad much needed comfort in this time of sadness.
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I would like to say just a few words about my mother, Dorothy. We are here to celebrate her full and beautiful life, and so that is what I'd like to speak about. The mom I will always remember, and I hope you will, too.
I want to remember the lady who could talk to anybody. Truly anybody. And she didn't have empty conversations or make mere small talk. My mother had a genuine love of people, and so when she talked to people, it was to get to know them. Even when she came to Hong Kong to visit me in 2010, she made friends as easily as ever. The kids who worked in the local dumpling shop loved her daily visits and practicing their English with her. One night at dinner, we had to share our table with a local couple, and although they didn't speak a word of English, that didn't stop Mom from speaking to them throughout our meal. Like I said, she could talk to anybody.
I want to remember the lady who loved to travel, and who shared that love with me. "Travel" for her wasn't just going to far and exotic places, though she did that, too. As a teacher with summers off from work, she delighted in taking me and Danielle on day trips around New Jersey and the rest of the tri-state area. She loved days spent in Princeton, Coney Island, Atlantic City and Sandy Hook. She loved a day in Manhattan, to see a Broadway show and enjoy dinner at a ritzy restaurant.
She loved weekend trips, and always looked forward to her next vacation in Washington, D.C., which she always said was her favorite city. She adored the monuments and memorials, the history and the beauty of our nation's capital. And she loved Rocking Horse Ranch, Lake George and a little dairy farm in the Amish Country where we spent many happy days eating home cooked meals or milking cows or playing with the rest of the farm animals.
But the three great trips I think I'll remember most are our summer long journey down the coast of California in 2004, where we rented a car and drove from San Francisco, up to Napa and Yosemite, and then cruised along the Pacific all the way south to Los Angeles and San Diego, stopping at many beautiful spots along the way.
When, around this time, early April of 2007, she, Danielle and Dad came to see me in Paris. On that trip, we had the Easter dinner of a lifetime at a famous Parisian restaurant, as the sun set over Notre Dame, and Dad managed to pocket an ashtray as a keepsake. It's a meal I will remember forever. The next day we took off for Normandy to see the D-Day Beaches and eat more escargot, fois gras and soufflés than humanly possible.
And finally, in 2010, when she came to visit me in Hong Kong. For two months. She met all my friends and saw all the sights, but when she thought she had done it all pretty thoroughly, at fifty-four years old, she got on a plane with a backpack, and spent three weeks travelling solo around Thailand. I can't even imagine all the people she met and the conversations she had, but this is the mom I want to remember.
I want to remember the mom who wrote, in fourth grade, "I know I am not smart but I hope if I save my money in the bank I can go to college and try to work very hard I will try my best to be a wonderful teacher." I don't think anybody can deny that her childhood dream truly came to be. She was proud of a lot of things, but surely her accomplishments as a special ed. teacher for the City of New York are among the greatest. And not forgetting her service at Kean University, helping to prepare the next generation of special education teachers who will continue to touch the lives of so many, like she did. And that all harkens back to her love of people, and her genuine interest in helping them. This is all part of her legacy.
Dorothy Parisi was an unforgettable human being. I'll think of her whenever someone pops a Tic Tac or takes a swig of Seltzer. I'll remember her every time Donna Summer's music comes on the radio. And of course every time I bet on the sixth horse in the sixth race, or see a Hummel or a Lladro.
Mom, I love you and I miss you. But, to close with the lyrics of one of your favorite songs, "I'll find you in the morning sun, and when the night is new, I'll be looking at the moon, but I'll be seeing you."
